@Stone_Evans Helps You Solve the #identityCrisis: the old #WhoAmI? & #WhatAmI?

At a support-group meeting, I (who am not Stone Evans 😆) commonly summarize 'the need for grief' this way: 'After your brain-injury, your life won't be the same. Maybe you'll get back to "a life that's a lot like the one you had before," maybe it'll be totally different--no two brain-injuries are the same--but "the person you were before the brain-injury" is gone; 

'The point is: your "recovery" is not "trying to be that person again," it's "becoming someone new" with the "gifts" that are available to you (what's left of your body, what's left of your brain, the assistance-&-guidance of the people who love you & -of the doctors & therapists who guide your recovery).'

... actually, I changed that last part. After 'your "recovery" is not "trying to be the person you were before the injury,"' I think I call back to the old "You can't get over your brain-injury; you've got to get through it!"

(One of the group-leader's mottos (which helps him in the recovery from his hemorrhagic stroke) is "If it's to be, it's up to me!" and I guess I don't want to confuse fellow survivors into thinking it's wrong for them to take a little control over their recovery ...

(But I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have progressed so far in my recovery if I hadn't been "allowed/invited to" by---teachers & professors, therapists, family members, fellow survivors, classmates (when I went back to high-school and tried college for a few years), and many other Influences (both knowing and unknowing ... mostly unknowing ...) 

But ... When you ask kids #What They Wanna Be when They Grow-Up, none of them ever say 'a recover-er!' Sure, they want to 'recover' from any injuries or illnesses that beset them; but only 'so they can be something else again!'

That brings up 'the identity crisis' I'll discuss below the Subscribe-bar; but first, I list a few 'root-words' that tie those two words (linked to SFI's discussion of the question) into our lexicon....

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The word “What” is built on ancient words that mean #Who (reminding me that many surnames' ancient roots are Occupational---one person's talking about 'John,' the other person wants to know 'Which John?' the first replies 'John the Butcher (or -the Baker or -the Candlestick-Maker ... if it's not "John from the Forest" or "John of the Noble House of [Royal Heritage-Name]").

#Whatever #Whatnot #Whatsoever #Whattayagonnado or #Whatchyagonnado

The word “Who” is built on the |Substratum *Kwo-. 

#Whom #Whose #Whoever #Whosoever

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What Can I Be?

'Motivational memos' (sayings on posters & in children's inspirational shows ... and the people who grew up on them and occasionally get 'reminders of them' from church-services etc.) tell kids that "they can be whatever they put their minds-to!"

Then you grow up. You decide that--even more than you want to be 'one thing'--you don't want to be "broke (or homeless or in-debt or -prison or -poverty)," so you 'shelve' "what you want to be" to become "what people pay you to be."

And a lot of the 'things we want to be' are things we can't be unless we earn/win permission & keep earning/winning it!

Let's see ... (in the order that I became/will-become these) ...

Things I Am (and am Glad to Be)	Things I Want to Be
My Parents' Son My Aunts'-&-Uncles' Nephew My Grandparents' Grandson My Cousins' (both 'Uncles' Kids' and 'their kids') Cousin My Siblings' Oldest Brother (and of course their Spouses'  In-Law) Student (High-School Graduate, University Drop-Ou-- ... 'Sabbatician?' Audience-Member Singer Speaker Writer Trauma-Survivor My Nieces' Uncle	Husband Father Godfather (either 'officially' or 'honorarily') Uncle to more Nieces or Nephews Popular Writer Popular Speaker Popular Singer (eventually) Grandfather

And am I even 'on track to becoming those things in the second column'? 

• I don't know about 'the First Two Roles'---I mean; I know 'how to be them,' but I'm not sure how to become them (in my current situation) I'm not ever anywhere I could meet single women who are interested in handling 'all the baggage attached to my Partnership!'
• And obviously the Fourth Role & the Last Role are just 'a natural process' from my siblings'- or children's decision to have (more) children.
• The Third Role---there're no "steps to becoming that," except to become my associates' 'close friend who would be a good godfather to their children' and then to wait until they decide to so name me (at their children's baptism, usually).
• I might be a good 'fatherly advisor' to some, if my advice becomes worth their faith. Or maybe some new Catholics would choose me as their Sponsor (if I were to become some sort of 'bastion' of the Catholic Church).
• The Fifth-, Sixth- & Seventh-Roles ... well, mostly just the fifth (writer)---I hear 'The Holy Spirit' say "write & write & write some more, and eventually the huge pile of writing will attract readers with its sheer gravity (if not by its insightful wisdom and clever wit etc.)" ... akin to the maxim of website-marketers (adapted from the Kevin Costner movie) "If you Build It, They will Come."