My Curse: I'm an #invintrovert (involuntary introvert) | @Bing @FlowingData @LoveVivah24x7 @Wikipedia

Another one of those 'friends on Facebook gushing about their upcoming marriage while I'm sitting here single & alone' came up today, and I used it to figure out what's wrong with me.

The way I'd put it---"I'm like Jesus: I want you all to love me, but I'm not responsible for anything bad that happens (though I'll gladly accept all the thanks you give me for all the good things that you make happen)."

But the way 'people make it' (probably 'my fault' mostly, but I naturally want to blame my parents & teachers/therapists/classmates), I'm an 'Invintrovert.'

I'll explain what that is ... starting with what I show here---the group of words' that couch "that word" (below hyperlinked to ) into your vocabulary ... deeper meanings that 'firm the foundations' upon which our lexicon stands ...

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The word “Invintrovert” is built of the words Involuntary + Introvert (the same way "an Incel" is built of the words Involuntary + Celibate ... and I'm an invintrovert for a similar reason (because I'm not aggressive about going out & nobody bothered to take me out ... making me a Passive Extrovert).

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I'm just fine with being single---I'd be fine with getting married too, as long as I don't need to live much differently than I'm living now (spending all day at home--playing video games, watching TV, reading, ... probably going to the store a few times a week, to the doctor, the dentist, the ophthalmologist (eye-doctor), the occasional movie or drama-performance or ... lunch or 'social' or someplace we can talk (a picnic?)).

I'm living like I think everybody wants to end up ... but not the way one lives if one wants to meet a wife! ('My way of taking the shortcut to the end' (earning me the nickname "Speedy") isn't "the right way to live" if one wants to gain the companionship of other 'track-walkers' ... after I write this, I'd be tempted to go 'straight to the nearest bar' and start 'doing whatever people do to meet spouses there'; but no ...)

There's a camaraderie that comes from being part of the same 'workforce' (maybe not "co-workers," but in different offices--maybe different industries--in the same economy). Most people in bars go there after spending the day 'plying their trade' (studying at college, manipulating data at the office, fixing cars & trucks, working as therapists in the hospital or instructors at the gym, teaching-etc.) and meet others whose company they enjoy as they wind down after work.

Not me.

I've got to 'wind up' to go have fun (unlike those who have to 'wind up' to go to work and are 'pre-wound & winding back down' when they're out having fun). The only way I can explain it ... it's kinda nerdy---I think of 'marching snare-drum's heads' (the top of the drum, that you hit with a drumstick): if there are several drums with old heads and another one joins but has a new head, it's going to change the sound of the drumline ...

Maybe a better metaphor would be Lord Jesus' quote about 'putting new wine in old wineskins'---I guess I've always been 'an old wineskin,' and people know I can't handle 'the new wine.' So looking for a wife in 'the one place I've always hoped she'd come from' was wrong.

After suffe--surviving a Traumatic Brain-Injury at 14, I for-some-reason that 'the woman who would become my wife' would be one of the camp-counselors (medical-professionals or -students) I met at one of the 'brain-injury camps-for-adults' I go to.