A Traumatic Brain-Injury Survivor, I ... I guess I 'take naturally to reclusive life.' But I don't want to! I ... I see why Gary Bulmer (a fellow 'brain-patient' & leader of the recovery-community) adopted-&-promotes a variation of the famous NIKE motto: 'Do It Anyway! Just Go, Get Out There! Do Things Anyway! Contribute Your Effort! Do It Anyway!'
Because if you don't, you're liable to start "thinking." And–while 'thinking' is a very popular activity (which some people claim others don't do enough-of)–it's a very dangerous activity to do with neither a) actions that prove your thoughts, nor b) other people to-correct you when you're wrong or -confirm it when you're right.
A dangerous thought—'I'm just a turd to you—an annoyance that "you" only encounter because you have to, whom you're not anxious to dig up again.'
(The 'you' I'm talking about is "a specific class of people—who deal with me on a limited basis but ... who are too busy feigning "normality" to descend to my level of simple peace, I guess).
More about that later, But first ... 'That word' (below-hyperlinked to a post about the injury that almost turned me into a 'turd') is built on an even-deeper source ... something crucial that firms the foundation upon which our lexicon stands ...
(The 'you' I'm talking about is "a specific class of people—who deal with me on a limited basis but ... who are too busy feigning "normality" to descend to my level of simple peace, I guess).
More about that later, But first ... 'That word' (below-hyperlinked to a post about the injury that almost turned me into a 'turd') is built on an even-deeper source ... something crucial that firms the foundation upon which our lexicon stands ...
The word “Turd” is built on ancient words that mean "that which is Separated (Torn-off) from the Body" (to #Shit←to |Split←to Cut off (|Scatology), something |Worthless & |Vile, |Despicable Person).
And–just like passive-aggressive comments like "Oh, that's fine; just leave me alone & deal with your more-entertaining problems" really compound my depression when said in reaction to 'your' dismissive attitude–'thinking' about why 'you' treat me like "a turd" runs the risk of 'compounding the belief that I am such a person.'
The 'you' I'm referring-to probably isn't "you," it's ... Well,
As a TBI-survivor, I am afforded the opportunity to go to a couple TBI-Survivor 'retreats' (they call them "camps," but probably for the same reason I call them 'retreats' ... opportunities to spend time away from your daily life—for many TBI-survivors, that's 'staying in a hospital'; for others, that's 'living in a nursing-home/convalescent-center'; some live with 'caregivers,' and some "make it back to independent living").
I am in a very-advanced stage of recovery. I seem to have 'plateaued' into something-like-normal (only "socially"—i.e. you can't tell I'm injured just by looking at me, but "professionally" ... if doctors told me 'what's wrong with me,' I'd probably focus on "being sick" rather than "getting better").
But I was not set back on 'the human path' (where we all find spouses & have children). Mostly because my injury occurred before I could even start dating. And I was under the impression that–if I were to get back on the human path–it would be with one of the medical-professional students who serve as 'camp-counselors' at the retreats. (They are the 'you' I'm referring-to.)
I know it's ludicrous, but I somehow got it in my head that one of these young women would 'adopt' me ('marry' me, yes; but I'm legally 'a dependent'). But–you'd think I'd've figured out "the reality" after 10-or-15 years–most of the girls regard the 'campers' as "patients in one of the hospitals they have to intern-at."
So they never saw me as "a possible husband" (which their after-school lives were probably overflowing-with), but rather as 'a little problem that they only need to worry about until it's out of sensor-range.'
Not to say none of the ladies ever will forsake her normal life to join
me in a 'new normal.'
But isn't everybody 'a little problem that others only need to worry about until they're out of sensor-range?' I mean; if they don't do anything for you or -they don't seem to be any use to you, What good are they?
That's probably the thought behind the practice of a friend of mine. Way back when she was a kid, she overheard some other girls (at the birthday party of one of the girls) that the girl didn't want to invite her, but that she was only invited because their parents were friends.
That comment hit my friend's young psyche hard, and probably inspired her to 'make herself into something-more-than-a-turd'—taking tons of classes to become an excellent therapist (which was how I met her), a college-professor (as well as an athlete, musician, wife, mother ...)
Know anything else interesting about that? Comment!
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